If you haven’t heard of Poke (pronounced kinda like poki) its kinda like a sushi bowl with all types of things~ Here is SoCal it’s been on the rise which makes me really happy~ It’s quite affordable and it’s usually super delicious~ Although I’m used to eating the raw fish and what not, I am sure this probably doesn’t seem appealing to a lot of people o.o
Anyways! ITS FINALLY A SLOW WEEK! I mean… slow in a sense. I’m getting ready for a photoshoot this weekend so not completely slow. But it’s nice to not stress out so much xD
I also have been kinda on edge about people. This is why I create contracts, it kind of weeds out the people who might screw you over later if they don’t sign at the beginning. I know that now xD On another topic I’m not doing a fashion show anymore. They conveniently told me after I decided to stick up for my models and pay equality. It made me really mad … how some organizations are just unprofessional even though they’re trying to create an event for such a good cause. Actually.. it makes me more sad. Anyways I wrote a really good email in response but decided to write a more simple and professional response back. I realize its a small world and I don’t need any bad press. But I think I still have the right to be mad about it and rant a little xDDD
But YES! FINALLY BACK TO SOME NORMALITY :D
Because we all feel insecure at one point or another… or many times in life! And most of us are probably a mix of some of these types just making you a unique kind of insecure person! Personally though? I fall with the deflector category >> I tend to use humor to shy the attention away from me quite often… and mainly cause it works so well! :D (we all have our problems ok?!) xD And then mix in pretty much all the rest and you have me as well! YAY! I think that’s why I’m slightly awkward too. I can’t socialize normally =.= I had an event recently and I noticed I can talk to the more awkward people (like meee!) so much easier than the more outgoing ones or the really active ones. But even still that didn’t mean I didn’t TRY anyways.
Anyways if you haven’t checked out the girl in the video Anna Akana, you really should. I love how she’s witty and just does her own thing and runs with it. It’s given me a little bit of a push to just.. be the weird self and it’s so much more appealing I think than trying to change to fit in a certain group. (which I tried… alot) and then I find myself going “this is weird” and just go back to being normal which usually result in the girls looking at me weird and ditching me anyways (and I like to believe they would’ve anyways… xD) But don’t take that as sad… it just happens in life. People aren’t gonna click with you but when some do it’s just wonderful~ So I feel blessed I have the friends who will take me in last minute or freak out if I need their help randomly or if I see a cute guy and start fan girling enough to try to sneak a snap in for them to see LOL. Yea. That last tidbit happens rarely. >>
So yea! That’s my little rant of today. Don’t ever feel bad about being insecure… just find ways to use it to your advantage and embrace it! But that also doesn’t mean never change, I think just try to be confident in yourself and the tidbits of insecurity will go away~
I also would like to mention happy Memorial Day~ I had a wonderful (sorta.) day at home with no makeup and in PJs~ After the long weekend I had.. I needed it. Could’ve used less mother whine tho. Fun fact? Got home past 1 am the past two days T.T
I did say I’d show you some Tera pics right?! Well how about just one… for now. xD Everytime I play I go “I need to be in this game like SAO” xD which reminds me… actually got to the 2nd arc in SAO 2! It’s…. interesting so far. I like the design for silica~ She’s blue now :D Sinon’s design is ok too. It makes me want to cosplay ALL OF THEM~~~ but I won’t~ Something about cosplaying from anime is kinda a backthought at this point.
Ah! So today I actually worked my butt off at the office from 9-5. Ok give and take an hour for food and a nap >.> But it was seriously tiring.. but I mean when is work not? It just got more fusterating when I can’t even count on my mother to get to the office on time for an appointment =.= So I was quite cranky this morning dealing with people I really didn’t want to. What did I want? I wanted to spend my time happily crafting. Even advertising. You know what. Even doing monotonous work =.=
Getting home from work didn’t even make it my moods lift really. It was like actually being able to breath but still under strain from all the crap you had to go through. Honestly I don’t like this client stress situation like this =.= Not with so much at stake. So I think I’ll stick with fashion and cosplay. Anyways. I came home and sat on the couch, took out a carmel apple lolipop and ate it while finishing the last few chapters of the book I was reading. It was nice. Then spent a few hours with league and friends! Which is always fun =3 But I hit a point where playing felt a little useless and I needed time to myself. Went around.. made some dinner. Did some dog business (she chewed up my favorite flat… she’s lucky I’m not punting her across the street >.>) And now… well now I see how terrible some jobs can be and I really have to find a way for this to work out for me. Not my normal job… but my not so normal route XD
But until then… I guess I’ll keep writing the fantasy of doing what I love, as stressful as it is, and being able to make a living off of it.
Puppy nap time @ the office
I find it interesting how I’ve kept blogging for so long. And to be honest it’s for a pretty selfish reason of just letting my mind have a breath of air and also just to remember what I may have done on a random Wednesday in October. I’m actually quite terrible at remembering things which is why I love to write things down. I have a weekly planner because daily planners require too much page flipping and monthly calendars don’t have enough room to doodle things in. I don’t think short term nor long term but… medium I suppose. Maybe a month or so at a time. But why am I writing this? I’m not completely sure. I haven’t done much today but kind of fail at work. Get bored at work. And just want to eat snacks and go home to work on something I’m actually passionate about. I thought “why am I passionate about it?” Is it just the amount of time you put into certain things? I thought that at first. That maybe if I spent enough time doing tax I would love it. But it seems like that hasn’t worked now has it? Cause then what would this blog turn into? “It’s my money time..” instead of “it’s my fairytale time”? Then I thought… maybe it’s the same correlation with people. Some people you instantly like, some take some time to warm up to, and other you just find annoying because of one antic or another. The passion you find in people I guess? Sounds weird, keep that in the context of not-lover xD
And so I sit here at the office, sort of trying to kill time as I love to do with games but as it is the office I have a lack of there. I wrote in my journal last night but it’s all just really trying to write the things I have learned recently. I’m hoping the journal will one day remind me of what was going through my mind during this age and time. And who knows, maybe I’ll be crazy enough to have a kid and will have to seek through my journals to figure out what may be going through their minds. I also found it good to write down my feelings for people with the more important reason of why. See… I started to write in a diary/journal since… 5th grade of elementary school. At that age I was reading “the diary of ______” insert a historical girl’s name there. And I read so many of them I decided I wanted a momento to keep so maybe someone else may read it and think my life was just as interesting. Yea. I thought that at age 10? Somewhere around there. Anyways. It’s been awhile. I’ve gone through a lot of “love of my life” and “fling” of some sorts through my days. but reading back I’m able to see how one “love” differed quite so with the love I hold now. And so I always encourage people to pick up a journal. Whether daily or something more my pace like biweekly if not monthly.
Yes. I’m still going on.
Extent of this post is pretty much done though. I have not more to write but a lot more to think and god knows what more to actually do. I know I’m not the greatest writer, heck, writing actually stresses me out quite a lot. Especially if I know people will be reading this. So here I just assume no one will read it.
BIG MOCHI CAKE … THING. XD
It was green tea flavored and it was amazing~ Its mochi on the outside. A green tea mousse with red bean bits on the inside. With a green tea cake for a bottom layer. It was quite yummy, big enough that I shared with my sister and didn’t mind sharing xP Also she isn’t the greatest fan of green tea so… … more for me? I did like how they made it so you didn’t taste actual powder from the matcha. Pleasant that way~
Home has been absolutely wonderful lately. Probably the reason why I spent a good 4 hours at a Starbucks until I was summoned back to clean a really gross mess of a fridge =.= I won’t even ask why but… yea.
I’m back to job hunting too. Trying to figure out my life and right now it’s not doing everything my parents tell me xD I have a great use of time instead of JUST doing that.
Annnd… I just lsot a league game really depressingly. I was up against a diamond player =.= While we had a newbie on our team that was lvl 17. I don’t understand how that match up was remotely fair but we got eaten so bad it kind of makes me mad league let a team like that go against ours. It kinda ruins the game if the skill level is so far off >.< Although it did test my skills with syndra a little more. just a little. Had to try and predict more than I’m used to.
Anyways! No point in brooding right? Just a little rant. Maybe I’ll paly again… maybe not though. I think I should draw or do something… I’m behind on my work already T.T