I’m getting such serious retaliation from my parental that it’s making it really unbearable to even look =.= I hate doing this just because it seems so…. high school, But I think somehow … someway, she regressed into being more traditional asian. It’s gotten to the point where everything I do is somehow related to how well I can keep a marriage. Not married btw. And I find it funny how it is no way dependent on the guy. It’s just me =.= I also have a really bad attitude where I need to go to class or something to learn better ones, I talk so very uneducated and let’s throw in I’m a disappointment and failure too! So last night I went out for a drive just to clear my head. I got a bit of bakery goods… wrote down everything that went through my mind, And had a cream puff =3 I’m lucky enough to be able to do that at least. I don’t forget how lucky I am but now it seems like since I have become this big disappointment in their lives.. they threw my back to high school. 

And if my job right now — you know in service and purely selling products — wasn’t customer service enough. It looks like I might be forced to get a job in retail customer service. I guess she wants me to deal with worse people than her just to make her look like a saint. Or what she tells me often is that I need a job where I come home a just cry. And trust me, I used to do that enough just from her >.> I know how brutal the retail world can be… maybe not first hand but I’ve seen pretty crappy customers and I’m usually just watching horrified from the buying line. It’s quite sad if you see it :/ Makes you have a little less faith in the world. 

I’m currently conflicted. Moving out seems unreal but very plausible. Seems like it’d just make things harder but…. it’s already getting that way so why not throw icing on the cake. If I wanted the safe route I would’ve just went with what she told me and I would be hating a CVS or something by now (pharmacy. ugh.) 

I have to remember if I’m ever a parent… that if your kid is really insistent that something makes them happy, let them run with it. But always provide a back up~

But since I’m already the kid with the most unheard of disappointment in the house… might as well just keep going to where my guts take me. 



20140824_153514I’ve been so bad with bloging now.. LOL anyways! Here’s a backstage pic from the show! Everyone was getting all nervous as things started to real when lining up o.o Heck I was a ball of nerves cause I had to make speeches T.T But I finally finished most of the post-con updates! :D You can read my little snippet on my cos blog about my side of the show~ Ah I can’t help but to look at my work and just go “awww” cause the models were wondering how I paired them up with designs… and it’s all just by gut feeling and looks xD How else am I suppose to do it right?

So great news~ I have my own half table for ALA! :DDD was FINALLY able to get a spot in the FCFS which literally took me a minute to register and pay! It takes out SO much uncertainty so I’m really glad. I believe I’m also hall judging so let’s see how this goes… I know I’ll have helpers so I’m not too worried about it. But at this point I’m anticipating debuted 2 new cosplays (1 of them Gee’s) and then having the finished product of 2 other cosplays! Add that with… you know… products and some legal stuff.. I seriously have my hands full o.o 

So let’s see… I also want to rank before the season ends in League sooo…. time for that too!! Oh and little Bulba which likes to go to the bathroom in all sorts of rooms T.T



After show



Wow so I didn’t even know I was MIA for.. a good week or so from bloging. But the nights became long and the mornings got earlier as the time towards the fashion show came! Well… Glad to say that the show went off well~ It wasn’t perfect but for my first show I think it was good! I learned a lot from it and I got 9 new outfits to show off =3 What it did show was that I do have a pretty awesome team behind me with oh so many talents~ So I’m really glad that I have people I can depend on =3

Afterwards there was a good 3 hour photo shoot session which isn’t too surprising cause between the group shots and the individual shoots… Gee was quite busy taking pictures of other girls xD

Afterwards was just KBBQ with some of the models and friends who came to see the show :D And then Boba … then a nap .. then came home around midnight! It was quite the fun day =3 stressful a bit but the models were SO amazing that it made my job easier. 

I decided to take a day off completely today just for some clean up and games! Nothing to stress me out~ And well.. I found myself thinking “what can I sew while watching anime..?” and then going “oh crap not suppose to be working!” and yea. It was sad xD I already want to start sketching out the next project!! IM ON A ROLLLLL~~ LOL 



Crunch time


A week left before my show and… my family doesn’t really get that. My friends do though! Which is always nice but sadly that leaves me to be kinda friend deprived and too much family =.=  Mmm… I barely got any progress today other than a really nice night’s sleep. I got a full … 8 hours? THATS a miracle in itself xD I was so happy~ And the dog didn’t even wake me up =3

We had a “cosplay” day which is what I still call our outings when we do crafts xD I brought EVERYTHINH for the show. Just letting you know the red bag is all my un-cut fabric. The yellow is the bag of cut fabric that is done or close to it. Can you guess which one is a lot smaller and lighter than the other… >.>;; And the other picture is just what my mannequin looked like at one point loll

So yea.. I’m tired. I need to work out. I need to work. And I need to figure out a way to get my parents off my back sooo…yea. Well. Time to get some sleep on. I need to wake up and fight on with another day~



It’s not

I dunno why but this song really made me feel.. peaceful. All the family from out of state left today and they took 1 of the 2 dogs they brought over. Their initial plan was to leave both but… I can’t handle 2 dogs by myself. Not 2 untrained dogs T.T Maybe if I tried 1 then got another but… yea. That’s just me I guess? But all of today Bulba has been feeling down. She doesn’t wanna play and I think she only fetches the toy cause it reminds her of Mimi >.>;; So she’s been sleeping a lot today and wanting to just lay on my lap. Hasn’t really eaten today either. Ahhh… I hope she snaps out of it! But I decided to play some slower music for her to listen to too! cause… I feel for her T.T

I do have to admit she’s more well behaved by herself >.>;;

Anyways. The time left I have for my designs is crazy and my sleeping time looks like its slowly getting reduced to 5. I don’t like this but I do. It’s weird xDDD Still procrastinating on the cape parts though! XD